Here I am on the cusp of a new year and one month before I turn 51. It just struck me – the thought of how I intended to make this year count. I had a vision of living a full and beautiful life. And here I am, sad, bored and lonely.

Lonely is the key word. I’ve been lonely all my life. Solving the mystery to why seemed like the key to living a life of abundance and joy. But I haven’t solved it, and it occurs to me that lonely is what I AM. It’s intrinsic to every cell of my being. It’s time I give up the battle and accept it.

But still, I strive for a life of purpose. If I must be lonely, then there must be something good that can come of it. I think of all the other lonely people out there in our community: the senior parked in and old folks home, the misfit child in school, the destitute woman in a shelter, the homeless person on the street. I could share their pain, tell their stories, and maybe, just maybe, open some doors to connection.

I have lost  people dear to me. I endured years of chronic pain. There is no greater agony than loneliness. If I can do something good with mine, then I will gladly shoulder my burden.

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